We all say silly things from time to time, but saying daft things to a writer is a favourite subject of mine. My husband told me I MUST start my own YouTube channel (I didn’t) but when I had a nosy, I found an author talking about the things that people have said that really irritated her. She seemed really angry (this was some years ago, I don’t know if the film is still there).
The red writing is my response (which, yes, I should have said at the time but meh).
- ‘I don’t like dystopian books – I only read science fiction’.
2 ‘Hmm a five star review for your first book? I bet she gives everything five stars.’
Me: That’s a horrible thing to say to an author.
3. ‘It’s you, isn’t it?’
No, ‘it’s’ not me, it is a fictional character that I invented. Think about it, Stephen King is not a teenage girl is he?
4.’ Are you still writing your ‘book’ ?’
Yes I am, this one will be my eleventh book.
5. Similarly ‘Oh, you’re an AUTHOR‘ (sing-song voice)
Me; ‘Oh you’re a (insert occupation here)’ ~ actually, the person who said this to me is not a builder/plasterer/decorator, the photo made me smile.
6. ‘My friend is dying to meet you – he wants to be a writer.’
Meets friend, friend says nowt. (I’m not going to steal your book ideas!)
7. ‘I’ll definitely write you a review.’
That old chestnut.
8. ‘I can’t see what’s being satirised (in a review)’
Me: let’s just check with the Oxford Dictionary of Literary Terms by Dr Baldick shall we? Satire: A mode of writing that exposes the failings of individuals, institutions, or societies to ridicule and scorn. (Oxford University Press, 2015). That sounds EXACTLY like my six part series, ‘Curmudgeon Avenue’ .
9. ‘What do they call a six-part-series? Me ‘A six-part-series’. There ensued a long conversation ‘Is it a sextuplet? Is it a hexagon?
Me ‘NO IT’S A SIX-PART SERIES. IN LITERATURE IT’S A SIX-PART-SERIES!’ No one listens, but they do all look at me like I’m stupid (despite my 10 published books and creative writing degree).
10. Who published you? Because my mum has written her life story and… (long story here about someone’s mum writing a book).
Me: This was obviously someone trying to find out if I’m self published or not. I am – I’m proud to be an indie author and I wouldn’t have it any other way. (I don’t know why, but I feel I have to add that I have been editorially selected when I had a short story published in a magazine).
11. And here is the most popular one: I would write a book if I had the time
Me: What’s stopping you?
(When I published my novel ‘1962’) You can’t possibly have been alive in 1962! How can you write a book set in 1962!
Me: correct – I was born in 1975. Hilary Mantel was not alive during Queen Elizabeth I times either.
Thank you for reading today’s blog. Please share your experiences of daft things that people have said to you since you have been a writer. I may seem a little curmudgeonly today – no doubt I will think of something else I should have included in this blog/someone is about to say something daft after I have published.
Have a great weekend and here are my curmudgeonly books:
Samantha 🙂 https://www.amazon.co.uk/~/e/B01M4LPH9U