Daft Things Folk Have Said to me Since I have Been Writing.

We all say silly things from time to time, but saying daft things to a writer is a favourite subject of mine. My husband told me I MUST start my own YouTube channel (I didn’t) but when I had a nosy, I found an author talking about the things that people have said that really irritated her. She seemed really angry (this was some years ago, I don’t know if the film is still there).

The red writing is my response (which, yes, I should have said at the time but meh).

1. ‘I don’t like dystopian books – I only read science fiction’.

Err…

2 ‘Hmm a five star review for your first book? I bet she gives everything five stars.’

Me: That’s a horrible thing to say to an author.

3. ‘It’s you, isn’t it?’

No, ‘it’s’ not me, it is a fictional character that I invented. Think about it, Stephen King is not a teenage girl is he?

4.’ Are you still writing your ‘book’ ?’

Yes I am, this one will be my eleventh book.

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5. Similarly ‘Oh, you’re an AUTHOR‘ (sing-song voice)

Me; ‘Oh you’re a (insert occupation here)’ ~ actually, the person who said this to me is not a builder/plasterer/decorator, the photo made me smile.

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6. ‘My friend is dying to meet you – he wants to be a writer.’

Meets friend, friend says nowt. (I’m not going to steal your book ideas!)

7. ‘I’ll definitely write you a review.’

That old chestnut.

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8. ‘I can’t see what’s being satirised (in a review)’

Me: let’s just check with the Oxford Dictionary of Literary Terms by Dr Baldick shall we? Satire: A mode of writing that exposes the failings of individuals, institutions, or societies to ridicule and scorn. (Oxford University Press, 2015). That sounds EXACTLY like my six part series, ‘Curmudgeon Avenue’ .

9. ‘What do they call a six-part-series? Me ‘A six-part-series’. There ensued a long conversation ‘Is it a sextuplet? Is it a hexagon?

Me ‘NO IT’S A SIX-PART SERIES. IN LITERATURE IT’S A SIX-PART-SERIES!’ No one listens, but they do all look at me like I’m stupid (despite my 10 published books and creative writing degree).

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10. Who published you? Because my mum has written her life story and… (long story here about someone’s mum writing a book).

Me: This was obviously someone trying to find out if I’m self published or not. I am – I’m proud to be an indie author and I wouldn’t have it any other way. (I don’t know why, but I feel I have to add that I have been editorially selected when I had a short story published in a magazine).

11. And here is the most popular one: I would write a book if I had the time

Me: What’s stopping you?

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(When I published my novel ‘1962’) You can’t possibly have been alive in 1962! How can you write a book set in 1962!

Me: correct – I was born in 1975. Hilary Mantel was not alive during Queen Elizabeth I times either.

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Thank you for reading today’s blog. Please share your experiences of daft things that people have said to you since you have been a writer. I may seem a little curmudgeonly today – no doubt I will think of something else I should have included in this blog/someone is about to say something daft after I have published.

Have a great weekend and here are my curmudgeonly books:

Samantha 🙂 https://www.amazon.co.uk/~/e/B01M4LPH9U