My Loo Roll is Disappearing (and this obviously means there is a ghost in my house).

Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels.com

Hi Everyone!

Earlier this year, I published a collection with some friends called ‘What We Did During Lockdown’ . I got some feedback from a US reader that he thought it was ‘hilarious’ that I had called ‘loo roll’ ‘loo roll’ in my story. Well, what was I supposed to call it? Toilet paper? I never got to the bottom (lol) of it, and was left wondering, what do they call loo roll in America?

During 2020, I have become ever more observant of my own home – as I’m sure we all have. Just recently, I am convinced that my ghost has returned. I wrote about a ghost in my house three or four years ago, because there was a fragrance hanging around just like at my great auntie’s house, my puppy’s toys were all in a neat order and there was bathroom cleaner all over the bath (that I hadn’t done).

This time, I am convinced the ghost is stealing my loo roll (or whatever you call it in your country). Here is the evidence:

You can clearly see from this photograph that my cupboard is half empty, yet earlier that day, it was completely full.

No, I don’t have a loo roll obsession or live with someone who uses excessive amounts. There is just three of us here, my husband, my grown up daughter and me.

The other thing I noticed, a book has gone missing. I never lend books to people.

After something someone said to me when I was still working, I became interested in learning about Buffalo Bill’s Wild West tour (particularly the European leg). This is what the book that has gone missing from my house was about.

Here is the evidence:

You can clearly see a gap in between an encyclopedia of flowers that my dad gave me, and a redundant CD player shaped like a juke box. The ghost has been very sneaky here because I never look on this bottom shelf (and this is where the book has gone missing from).

I hope not, but I think my washing machine has broken again.

This is not the work of a ghost, this is my husband leaving pound coins in his jeans pockets.

Anyone else live in a sitcom?

Happy Tuesday, Samantha xx

PS I wrote these:

Somebody Has The Other Half Of Our BBQ and Other Mini Dramas

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Mr Henthorn, it is fair to say, is living his best life. 2020 has been a tough year for all of us, you have to make the best of it. So when we found out that we would be spending more time at home this year, my husband set his mind to work improving our home.

Sometimes, the old faithful things are the best. This is a photo of our current barbeque:

Minus the branches (gutted I can’t find the photo of lit bbq from garden parties of yesterday)
Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

Above is a photo of my husband’s dream, a big fancy bbq is like my version of having a portable TV in the kitchen (like on American films in the 80s)

Desperately Seeking Susan (3/12) Movie CLIP - Jimi Hendrix's Jacket (1985)  HD - YouTube
It’s true, when I was young I thought that watching a cooking programme on a portable TV in your kitchen meant you had made it. That, and buying your wine from Oddbins .

So, after doing a good half a day’s worth of research, Mr Henthorn chose his barbeque (the big fancy variety) and ordered it from a leading UK DIY and home improvement retailer.

A few weeks later, the doorbell rang – the BBQ was here!

Except there was a problem, Delivery driver number one noticed that both boxes were exactly the same box. The picker packers had only gone and sent two of box number two! What a palaver.

Delivery driver gets on the blower (he told me three call handlers were trying to speak at the same time). I was advised to accept one of the boxes, ring customer services myself and try and get box number one delivered.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

Obviously, I immediately phoned Mr Henthorn to inform him that a major mini-drama had happened at our house. He phoned (several times) emailed, and phoned again. It went on and on and on. One customer services call handler advised him to open the box that we had to see if it contained the whole BBQ.

IT DIDN’T

THEN we were told that the rest of the bbq (box one) was not in stock! So we had to admit defeat, and send box two back for a full refund. All we can deduce is that someone, somewhere in the UK has accepted delivery of the other half of our BBQ.

By the time the leading home and DIY retailer came to collect the fated box two, it was mid September.

Sigh…

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Obviously, other mini-dramas happened in the garden this year.

Tomatoes.

Last year, I grew tomatoes from packet seeds, from seeds I had saved myself from a tomato and from a tomato bush bought from a supermarket. All of them fruited. However, one night, Mr Henthorn announced that none of my tomatoes had grown which was a complete lie (and he wouldn’t know anyway because he never went in the greenhouse). NOT ONLY did I have to listen to a long lecture about how to grow tomatoes, I decided there and then that I would never try and grow them again.

A small portion of last year’s tomatoes above.

Having decided I was never going to grow tomatoes again, this year I planted some pea seeds. I have grown peas before

Soon, green shoots appeared in the green house – a lot of green shoots, the leaves soon followed and instead of pea shoots, I had blummin’ tomatoes again! (Magic – or probably because I used compost to plant – our compost bin would have had last year’s tomato plants plus their seeds (despite Mr Henthorn claiming that I didn’t grow any).

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This year’s unexpected tomatoes. What a liberty.

Speaking of our compost bin…

Remember back in the summer when it was announced that you could meet up with a few people in your garden (a bubble)? We did that, and on this sunny day, a massive amount of bees swarmed around in our garden.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

Later that week, I discovered the bees were living in our compost bin. I didn’t know they were there until I reached into the bottom with a trowel for a bit of compost (and one of them stung me on the neck because I had disturbed the nest). Bumblebees colonise in nests of between 5o and 400 bees. I didn’t count them, but they were definitely living in a nest inside my compost bin (they don’t do hives like honey bees). Exciting, apparently this is rare (according to what I read when I googled ‘bumblebees’).

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Massive bee in our garden (I think this was June).

Finally, our cats’ grave in the front garden had an autumn flowering camelia. I thought it had died. When I buried TC’s ashes (poor TC left us in June), I pruned the camelia right down to the bottom… and it has started growing back!

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Well, I think that is enough sit-com behaviour for one post, enjoy the rest of your October everyone, Samantha xx

PS I wrote these books: https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B01M4LPH9U